Money is personal, but when you’re part of a couple, it’s also shared. From deciding whether to renovate the kitchen to planning for retirement, couples make financial decisions together every day. Yet research shows that many couples approach risk differently, especially when it comes to investing. According to a 2024 Fidelity study, 47% of couples disagree on how much risk they are comfortable taking on in their investments.
That gap can lead to tension, missed opportunities, or overly cautious decisions. But it doesn’t have to. With the right conversations and a shared plan, you can turn financial decision-making into a strength in your relationship, not a stressor.
Step One: Set Goals Together
Before diving into investment strategy, zoom out. What are you working towards? What’s your end game? Start by identifying both shared and individual goals. These might include:
- Retiring at a certain age
- Buying a second home
- Starting a business
- Funding children’s or grandchildren’s education
- Leaving a legacy through charitable giving
Naming your goals creates a foundation for your financial plan and helps prioritize where and how to invest. For example, if one of you values early retirement and the other prioritizes travel, you may need to balance risk tolerance and liquidity in creative ways.
Step Two: Ask the Right Questions
Risk tolerance isn’t just about numbers, it’s about mindset. One partner might feel comfortable with market swings, while the other prefers steady, predictable returns.
To better understand each other’s perspectives, ask:
- How did your family talk about money growing up?
- What’s your first memory of saving or investing?
- How would you feel if our portfolio dropped 20% in a year?
- Would you rather have slow and steady growth or take bigger risks for potentially higher returns?
- How do you define financial security?
These aren’t easy questions, but they are revealing. They help surface hidden assumptions, emotional reactions, and financial values that may shape your decision-making more than you realize.
Step Three: Communicate Early and Often
Talking about money isn’t always easy. In fact, citing a 2024 study by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Psychology Today recently shared that 56% of couples reported money as their most frequent source of conflict.
One helpful solution? Make financial conversations a regular practice. Consider setting monthly or quarterly “money dates” where you can dedicate time to reviewing your goals, tracking progress, and discussing new decisions together. Make these dates collaborative rather than confrontational. Remember, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about understanding and aligning.
Step Four: Engage in Finances Together
In many relationships, one partner takes the financial lead handling investments, paying bills, and working with an advisor, while the other stays less involved. That dynamic may be convenient, but it can also be risky.
When both partners actively engage in financial planning, you’re more likely to build a balanced, informed, and sustainable strategy. You’re also better equipped to adapt if life throws an unexpected curveball like a job shift, a market downturn, or a health event.
If one partner is less confident with investing, this is an excellent opportunity to learn together. Attend financial planning meetings as a team, ask questions, and lean into the process.
It is also important to understand that regardless of how you divide up responsibility, financial transparency is paramount to having a strong relationship.
Step Five: Build a Shared Investment Strategy
Once you’ve clarified your goals, discussed risk tolerance, and committed to working together, it’s time to build a portfolio that reflects your shared priorities.
A few considerations:
- Diversify based on time horizon: You might take more risk for long-term goals like retirement, and less for shorter-term needs like buying a home or covering tuition.
- Account for income differences: If one partner has more variable income or equity compensation, you may want to adjust liquidity or risk exposure accordingly.
- Consider joint and individual accounts: In some cases, it may make sense to keep certain investment accounts separate for personal goals or tax efficiency, while still aligning the overall household strategy.
Investing Together, Growing Together
Oftentimes, whether intending to or not, couples who invest as a team strengthen their partnership and communication skills as well as grow their wealth. By setting shared goals, asking meaningful questions, checking in regularly, and staying engaged, couples can work to create investment plans that are not only financially sound but emotionally grounded.
At Abeona Wealth, we help couples navigate financial complexity with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re just getting started or refining an established plan, we’re here to support thoughtful conversations and strategic growth for both of you. Let’s connect and talk about what your financial future could look like.